Monday, 12 June 2017

Home Styling With The Celebrity Experts.

Dear reader/s, please forgive my long break from blogging. I know you'll understand when you discover I have taken some time out from being an influencer to concentrate on the Young Adult dystopian novel I am writing. I can't give away too much except (writing tip!) that I didn't have to start from scratch. I simply dusted off the vampire novel I abandoned when the Young Adult vampire thing lost steam, replacing the vampires for human/robot hybrids who start to think for themselves. There may also be a group of disaffected, yet on trend, teenagers — the 'outliers'— who battle the odds to eventually save the day, while also negotiating a contentious love triangle. We'll see. I haven't got it all figured out yet, though I can tell you for certain, the outliers will be wearing, almost exclusively, G-Star Raw.

Anyway, enough of that. For this post I really wanted to share with you all a little bit of home decorating I took some time out to do, inspired by my favourite interior stylist, Sibella Court. I am all for Sibella's globetrotting style and am working — somewhat effortlessly it has to be said — to adopt it for my entire home. Sibella, for those who don't know, travels the world like a frequent flyer gypsy and brings home her finds/excess luggage from these adventures to incorporate into her own signature look which could be described as anything from 'eclectic' to 'busy' or even just 'I pay someone else to do the dusting'.




Having collected all Sibella's books I am always browsing, thinking of ways to incorporate her signature look into ones own home, and eventually last weekend became inspired about  dead little corner in my home that could def use some of her magic. As in Goodbye random dirty laundry dumping ground and Hello Nomad Seafarer Gypsy reading nook. Of course had to improvise a lot, having never  travelled the world, so when it came time to source exotic items for Nomad styling exercise, travelled into our black hole of a garage instead.

As it turns out I got so lost in the garage space time continuum sourcing bits and pieces that eventually, I decided to just style the garage instead. This had the added bonus of not having to lug items back home (I'm still travelling) as well as being able to leave the cobwebs in situ for the rustic element they afforded the space. In truth I didn't even have to do that much. As so often happens if you look hard enough the space seemed to be telling it's own story, balancing personal items (my experimental ceramics phase) with the more random elements (half full tins of house paint) to create the harrowing narrative of a family on the constant back foot, occasionally veering off  track into the territory of greek tragedy. Or comedy. Or tragedy….still not sure about that one.

Finally when it came to setting the mood with a choice of lighting I decided that sometimes a dearth of natural light is just what an interior is crying out for and left it at that. But there was still one thing missing. That's right — the wow factor, or rather, the hero piece. Hellooo then, playful homemade bunting. I had forgotten the playful bunting. But once that was in place well, I think the photos here really do the talking.


Saturday, 18 January 2014

Walking the walk.


Ha. Leave it to Murray. Just when you thought there was nothing else to be done with a mason jar he comes up with this! Jam! Naturally I'd assumed the mason jars sitting on the bench were for a rejuvenating  late afternoon goji berry juice with a hint of ginger and sprig of mint (who wouldn't?), not this food storage innovation. I hardly know whether to post it to my "Storing Jams" Pinterest board or just keep to myself. In any case remember you saw it here first. Once it gets out there on the interwebs there's no stopping what comes next. Chutneys...pickles...cocktail olives...

In other news from Trophy Wife I just wanted to thank all those who expressed genuine excitement over Murray and I renewing our vows. Actually, to be honest, no one has but I know that news like this cannot help but generate online excitement so I want to get in now before I'm deluged and say thanks, but hold your horses a bit because it's not set in stone yet. The thing is Murray hasn't totally okayed the idea. That's not to say he won't but then all last night while I was awake thinking of neon pink sugared almonds and an Orla Kiely faux vintage dress that would be perfect for renewing vows in (not overly formal but at the same time clearly signalling indie occasion ) I suddenly thought, hey, do you know who won't be wearing an Orla Kiely faux vintage occasion dress to their wedding? The gays. Thats who.
And that's when I knew I had to make my stand. How can I be all "Hey Murray lets renew our vows with a showy gesture and some quirky yet deceptively expensive designer clothes" when there are people out there who CAN'T get married thanks to discrimination. I'm not sure if I've said this here before but I think it's really important that high profile, and okay, let's say it - edgy - bloggers like Trophy Wife take a stand on something also high profile. That they use their online voice to say Hey, if Mr and Mrs Gay down the street can't have an etsy inspired wedding then don't be expecting one from Trophy Wife. Because it's one thing to talk the talk but another to walk the walk. if it's important enough you should totally walk the walk. Though not down an isle. Walk that is. In an Orla Kiely vintage whimsy of a frock. Or with a hand made bouquet of paper flowers in trending coulorways and vintage rhinestone accents that would be like, literally, instagram gold.
Of course Murray is going to want to know why the change of heart. I'll say something casual like "Forget the whole second wedding thing Murray. I've changed my mind. I'd rather a gay person down the street got married" then I'll just leave it. But he'll know. He wont say anything. But he'll know...





Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Renewing Our Wedding Vows.


Weddings are, like, totally trending at the moment. Or at least magazines about weddings are totally trending now. And not just run of the mill $60,000 weddings but creative, indie DIY hipster types that are packed with inventive new uses for the humble mason jar. Every time I go into the newsagent to buy the scratchie that won't be changing my life any time soon I see yet another cool indie magazine devoted to having the coolest hipster indie wedding possible. In fact it is not unimaginable that fave indie mag Frankie is working on it's own as we speak. In fact Memo to Frankie: should hurry as you risk being buried under all the other indie wedding publications that have beat you to it such as Hello May, Hitched and White.  Even though I have no need for these magazines I still want to buy them. Maybe it's because they are so pretty to look at? Or maybe it's just because they remind me of my own Special Day. Which is funny considering my own Special Day is the annual Lifeline Book Fair where I get to drop the kids at mum's house before school so I can queue up in the rain for cheap used books.



Still, I do love this new take on the biggest day in a girl's life. Those indie style weddings are so creative. For example you could have your wedding in an old disused barn or an old disused barn or make like it's the 1929 stock market crash and have your wedding in one of those old disused barns.






















It's not just magazines though. It's also the coolest bloggers out there showcasing their own super personalised mason jar indie nuptials on their blogs. Which gives me the spark of an idea......As you well know, I'm no jump on the band wagon opportunist blogger, but I guess it's no secret Trophy Wife has been slack/disinterested/struggling for content lately. And what could revive this blog better than myself and Murray renewing our vows in an old disused barn amongst some good looking hipsters? Or even, should it come to that, just our friends and family? (Sorry guys, I love you, but you know it's true. Karen, you couldn't even be bothered to dress up for the school's trivia night Fairy Tale themed fund raiser. And if I could whip up a freaking red cape for Little Red Riding hood how hard was it for you to dress as the Wolf in Grandma's nightcap and dressing gown???????).

I put this fab second wedding idea to Murray.

"Murray" I say "Wow, the years sure have passed since we joined our bank accounts. Wouldn't it be meaningful if this spring we rented out a disused barn, rinsed out some old jam jars and renewed our vows in front of some photogenic extras?"
"What are you talking about Mia?" says Murray "We never even got married in the first place. You said in between your swollen ankles, chronic morning sickness and hatred for gatherings, you'd rather poke pins in both eyes that have a wedding."
"Mmmmm. So wouldn't it be nice to make up for that? I mean maybe if we had made some highly personalised, if idiosyncratic, vows all that time ago, surrounded by lots of darling etsy type touches, the last fifteen years would have gone a lot smoother?"
"I guess so" Murray seems warmed up to the idea "For example you could have vowed not to leave your jam knife out in the morning so that when we got home in the afternoon the ants hadn't taken over the house with their own nuptials"
"Yes" I say "And you could have vowed not to have become so obsessed with bike riding that dozens of broken inner tubes now litter the house even though that look is at least three years off trending"
Suddenly though Murray is looking at me all suspicious like "Hang on Mia, is this something to do with your blog?"
"What? God, no, what? God, what do you mean, no, I mean, God...."
Murray shakes his head at me imperceptibly and leaves the room. Which is total couples shorthand for Find a bespoke letterpress printer in our area and gets those invites out now....

Photo sources: One; Two; Three; Four.

Sunday, 30 June 2013

Lucky Giveaway Winner.


An exciting moment - time to announce the winner of blog giveaway. Have totally loved all your fawning comments but all good things must come to an end and as I cannot think how to drag this out for a day longer it's with no more delay I announce the winner as.....Sally! As you can see from the screen shot above I abandoned my usual giveaway protocol as too complicated and have embraced random.org to help me select a winner.  You may also notice, if your eyes are good enough or your screen big enough, that Anonymous actually came out on top but as I have good reason to believe  anonymous is a relative, and I am yet to locate and enable the Blogger "Block A Relative' function, I have made the executive decision to go with next along - Sally - who seems a fab choice as she needs a new book to read and may actually grace us with a decent review. Sally please contact me at trophywife43@gmail.com and provide an address to send your book giveaway and, alongside some appropriate grateful sentiments, whether you would like the book fake signed by the author (or not).
Thanks for joining in everyone and remember - you are all winners. Just one with a new book to read and several others without.
(Please note the Appropriate Blogger Giveaway Loser Protocol: leave a comment expressing happiness/envy for winner - sincere or otherwise - and an enquiry as to where can purchase promotional tool the book for self).

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

The Rules Of Conception - Last Chance To Win For Lucky Individual.



I don't know that turning Giveaways into running double posts is acceptable blogger practice but feel free to view this 'suspense' ploy as a poorly disguised attempt at milking an initiative for personal gain/lame stab at attracting more reader interest. However, in addition to this plainly transparent ploy, I wish to announce that this copy of  'The Rules Of Conception' up for grabs will be SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR! Actually, not really (she is unhelpfully reticent on that front) however we do share similar handwriting and so the book will be FAKE SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR! Or the author's sister. Or not at all. It's your choice. You the winner. But you have to be in it to win it. One last week to join up and go in for the draw...
PS A second comment by one already entered in the draw may or may not give that entrant double the chance of winning.

Tuesday, 11 June 2013

BOOK Giveaway - The Rules of Conception.


As promised I am having a giveaway for the recent publication of my sisters novel The Rules Of Conception. I know I also promised an interview and to read the book myself plus post my own review but honestly when I got to the second chapter and realised I wasn't in the book I could hardly be bothered. I did ask our older sister Lara if she had read the book ("Yes I have Mia")  and did she have any thoughts on it ("Yes I do Mia")  and if she could be so kind as to grudgingly share them with Trophy Wife readers ("Honestly Mia?") and that eventually came to something. I guess beggars can't be choosers. One week, two phone calls, five texts and a baby sitting bribe later this...."The Rules of Conception by Angela Lawrence is an absorbing and timely counterpoint to the myth women in their thirties are too obsessed with themselves and their careers to make time for romance and babies. Rachel, the protagonist, take us on a well researched journey through all the options available to women wanting to have a baby on their own all the while navigating the frustrating and fraught world of both modern dating and office politics. I found myself backing Rachel, not only as she began to realise her dream but also as she took on her megalomaniac boss Lyndall and the company CEO Patrick -  a character who functions both as metaphor for the dying face of patriarchy and as a literary device for resolving the complex relationship between competing cross generational feministic modalities." Right. Thanks Lara. Whotevs.
Anyway as I said I have a copy of the aforementioned novel to give away to readers so to enter just become a follower and leave a comment below stating why you think I wasn't a character in the novel. Just leave a comment is all.
Also please be sure to refer to my blogger protocol on giveaways first as it is one of my most popular posts.
PS Other more reliable reviews can be found here and here.

Thursday, 30 May 2013

The Remarkables - Talent Agency For Bloggers.


It's no secret that I am super ambitious for this blog and the places it could take me and yet, funnily enough, I dont think I have ever been fully clear where I would like Trophy Wife to go. Except, perhaps, that time I devised a rough Blog Mission Statement which saw Trophy Wife build a large following, gain sponsorship, a book deal and, ultimately, link to a shop on etsy which would then showcase my dried Weetbix sculptures to the world, procuring in the process my long held dream of international celebrity crafter status.
Other times I see Trophy Wife opening up a Pinterest account.

Just lately though I have got to thinking more about personal goals vis a vis blogging and, having come to the  conclusion that etsy is just soooo 2009, realising I would do a whole lot better to concentrate entirely on this blog but with a view to becoming a Remarkable. Because being a Remarkable is totally where it is at now and I think by saying that here - this is my ultimate goal - will make for a manifesting consciousness/'The Secret' kind of energy and thus happen. Also - in a manifesty kind of way -  I have contacted the Remarkables talent agency inviting their talent scouts to get their bloggy selves over to Trophy Wife and download some remarkable DIY/Mummy/Whiny Chronic Illness bloggy action. At the moment they have 8 Remarkables on their books and are not planning any immediate additions but I am so sure I'm just what they are looking for to add to their stable of Australian Mummy Blogging talent that I have already imagined myself in one of their feature Cafe Remarkable posts sharing my thoughts on...well, on myself....See what you think....

AT CAFE REMARKABLE WITH TROPHY WIFE:

My Cafe Order Is...Weetbix with tepid milk.
I started my blog because...I  am looking for personal affirmation from strangers and a place to show the world what I can do with a toilet roll, three weathered pegs and a ball of string.
My Favourite Post ever was....DIY Roll Ribbon.
I think My readership is growing because....I follow lots of other blogs, leaving generous comments, in the hope they will follow me back. On occasion this has worked. When traffic is down I jump in with a giveaway which doesn't hurt and as a last resort I post pictures of studly men in retro knits. My proposed new feature - an interactive photographic exercise diarising the state of my cutlery drawer - is also bound to pull in more traffic.
My Blog in three words would be...Sad, Desperate, Plagiaristic (but in a good way!).
The best thing about being a blogger is...all the opportunities to take photos looking down at my shoes.
My favourite reality tv show of all time is*...."Search For The Next Pussycat Doll". I don't see that ever being topped.

I am sure to hear back from The Remarkables Blogging Talent Agency any day now.

*Not an actual Cafe Remarkable question.


Teaser...


Thursday, 28 February 2013

Tutorial: Mini Pantry Bunting.

Love Bunting. Signals fun, festivity, celebration and etsy. Am strong believer in celebrating achievements, from big (kids back at school) to small (kids back at school). That's why when cleaned fetid pantry yesterday, for first time in eight years, was moved to celebrate achievement with dedicated crafting session that gave rise to "Mini Pantry Bunting" and this months tutorial. Hung bunting in freshly cleaned pantry shelves. Delight now to open pantry and see bunting. Will cheer up otherwise lonely days at home preparing endless snacks for kids and monotony of cooking dinner night after night. Also signals to others fragile state of self's mind, hinged as were on random cleaning frenzy and lone crafting session...

Anyways! The how to: Pick some nice paper, you can choose any that appeals. I like to use the children's school news letters before I get the chance to read them. Cut triangles out any size, any shape. I find not measuring them suits my mood best. You'll probably need about 8 - 10. Here I have coloured some in with flouro markers which is optional. Then with some contrasting thread in the machine sew along the top of the triangles, leaving a gap between each one depending on the size of the pantry.

Voila! I can't wait to see them pop up on Pinterest!!!




Thursday, 7 February 2013

Secrets of Blogging Succes....

Welcome back to a new year with Trophy Wife. It's going to be a great year for blogs and especially this one. With Trophy Wife reaching it's one year anniversary this January I found it a great opportunity to look back and dwell on thoughts of failure. Twelve months, a dozen posts and only 17 followers. After much much soul searching, asking myself what I want to achieve here with Trophy Wife and how that might be accomplished I have come up with the solution that the answer must surely lie with someone else. That's why I begin back here with the first in a series of "Blogger Interviews" with successful bloggers who will share with Trophy Wife and her 17 readers what it takes to nab that next elusive follower. But first lets define blogging success. For me that would be not just having many followers but that those followers comment on your posts regularly, if not constantly. Sometimes twice on one post. Furthermore those comments would be of the flattering nature. Things such as "Another great post X. You nailed it. We should be friends. Where do you live?". Someone who has achieved this kind of success is my friend Karen with her blog Karen:the blog. I caught up with her recently and asked if she wouldn't mind sharing the secrets of her blogging success.  She wasn't keen but then I reminded her I know where she lives and she relented. Which is good news for us because with 142 followers and counting Karen knows a little bit about what it takes to maintain a successful blog. I began with asking her to tell us a little about her blog and it's readers. (At the time of going to press Karen:the blog had been shut down pending legal action regarding copyright issues. I am therefore, unfortunately, unable to provide a link).  

Trophy Wife: Karen thanks for joining us. Can you tell Trophy wife and her readers what Karen the blog is about"
Karen: "Um, probably not. I'm under legal instruction not to discuss it"
TW: Oh, OK. Lets talk about your readers then. What kind of reader does Karen:the blog attract?"
K: Um generally I'd say my followers are unemployed.
TW: Thats fantastic. Now I noticed that at some point last year the emphasis on your blog shifted away from scrap booking and mixed media lay outs and onto studly men in retro knits. Was this a strategy to improve your blog traffic?
Karen: Not initially. I had found myself one week without new scrap booking content. In desperation I thought I could pass off one of these delightful photos as scrap book fodder. They turned out to be so popular I am thinking of devoting the blog entirely to this genre of Man Candy.
TW: I See. Do you think Trophy Wife could benefit from this kind of imagery?

















K: I'm almost certain of it.
TW: Now I'm just about to wrap this interview but do you think that Trophy Wife and her readers could follow you around for the rest of the day?
K: What?
TW: I just think that would be a great way to learn what makes a creative such as yourself tick, for example many successful bloggers I've noticed are also thrifters who wile away their days in op shops, trawling for that perfect mid century retro collectable at a steal of a price to then showcase on their blog the next day. I promise you'll barely know I'm there.
K: I'll give you an hour.
TW: Fantastic.












Trailing Karen proved to be instructive. I was fascinated by how long she deliberated over, say, this cheap chocolate cake mix for her son's birthday. Clearly she is a woman of discernment. It may not be a retro collectable but I'd say I saw some real thrifting in action.
Thanks Karen!!

Friday, 17 August 2012

Fun And Networking At Arts Forum.


Forum was held at the gorgeous Canberra museum and Gallery.


Spent last Friday at totally awesome inspiring arts forum for visual artists and writers. Was titled "How to get ahead in art world" with useful tips such as 'know right people' and 'be nice to them but without just putting it on' and 'Always follow up with thank you note' plus "Wouldn't hurt to put on a personality either'. Took lots of notes as am, as you know, writer with own blog. Came away from forum with message of network, network, network. Am so glad am on Facepage. Though perhaps need content. Not sure anyone at forum mentioned content so not sure how important that will be.
Forum went all day with short lunch break. Took this opportunity to network. Approached other artists/writers and asked if they had a spare Fifty Cents to make up my $4.50 for a latte. They said no. Must be because they too are poorly resourced artists putting their craft before fancy lifestyle. Like self. Shocking how little money goes into the arts. When compared with BMX Olympians.
Just as was waiting outside forum for  afternoon session to begin met  lovely woman wearing artistic like felted scarf pinned with large attention grabbing silver brooch.
"I love your broach" I networked.
"Oh, thank you. I've had it a while" she smiled.
"Did you make it yourself?" I ask.
"No, I am not a craftsperson. I'm a writer"
"Oh, am also writer"  tell her. 
Broach Lady's face lights up "Oh, what have you written? Would I have heard of it?"
"Maybe" I say "Have own blog. You might know it. Trophy Wife? Covers lots of stuff. Mostly life matters and parenting issues though am thinking of positioning myself as fashion commentator" Broach Lady looks down at outfit. Quite plain unfortunately as was in rush this morning. Wish had worn suede coat with leopard spots on it. Wish Louie had not bitten off a suede leopard spot from coat's hem when he was three and had sharp little nippers. Will cost fortune to get re hemmed.
"What do you write?" I ask Broach Lady, keen to keep network alive.
"Novels" smiled Broach Lady "Slow ones, that take years between publishing" 
"Have you thought of blog?" I suggest, pleased with self, as remembered last speaker, before lunch, saying how networking is two way street, you must have something to offer other person. "You can write just small amounts and then publish with click of button. It's quite fast"
Broach Lady laughs "That sounds great. Just a click of the button and published. I will tell my publisher to a get button!" And then it was time to go in. 
Such a nice lady to have networked with. Turns out she was next speaker. Something about publishing. Bit boring, tuned out. But look forward to networking with her next time. This networking thing is actually quite easy. Look forward to seeing her again. Will totes ask her name.

Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Facebook Here I Come.

Up and running on facebook now. Feel like am modern, connected person with firm handle on social networking.
Send link to friends and family. Not everyone happy though. Mum phones. "What are photos of my grandchildren doing on Facebook Mia?" she says "Peadophiles everywhere. Take down immediately."
Stand my ground. "Fact of LIfe mum: everyone puts photos of their children on the Facebook. Really can't help having super amazing photogenic children notwithstanding major orthadontic work pending"
"Take them down now Mia" Mum says. Grudgingly cooperate. Will need to come up with some other attractive area of life to post.

Will take some thinking.

Thursday, 26 July 2012

Lucky Winner!


Great turn out for Soap Giveaway! Am now up to 14 followers. Nothing says "Online success around nearest corner" more than having 14 followers! Makes me think should have another giveaway, one after another, bypassing any blog content altogether....
But before I announce lucky winner a quick apology for the late draw as I have been unavailable to the demands of Trophy Wife due to extended illness (or 'research', if you like, for  the 'Chronically ill Tuesday' posts). I had also hoped for more entrants but well, this shall do....
Okay then, on to lucky giveaway winner - but first to validate the selection process I will explain how the winner was chosen: first took photo of little pieces of paper baring the names of all entrants. This  to provide air of authenticity and suggest a random like nature to giveaway. Then discreetly photoshopped in  late entry. Also made sure a child was in background watching proceedings, to lend giveaway process air of guileless honesty (even if child was unco-operative and eventually had to resort again to photoshop). Then bits of paper were tossed away and real process begun. For example who has impressive blog themselves and can lend mine a bit of cache by association? Or even who just has a blog? That is why after much deliberation I am splitting the prize into three and sending one bar of fabulous Coles Supermarket Brand soap to these four lucky winners who actually have a blog: Pippa at Ouch Flower in Melbourne; Mitra at Bye Bye Pie in New York; Kylie at Paravent and Karen at Vanilla Scraps up the road (Karen do you mind having the unwarapped bar, the one I tossed into the shower with Louie? I swear to you it is unused...). Could those winners please email me at trophywife43@gmail.com with their addresses and your wonderful prize will be on it's way (Karen just when I see you next will do).
Thank you again to all that entered and don't forget you are all winners. Just some with cool prize and some without.




Sunday, 1 July 2012

Giveaway!


I don't know, I like blogging, like the opportunity to express self in creative dimensions, it's just that I felt I would be more popular by now. It's been nearly two months. Don't get me wrong - I treasure my valued reader/s including the one who is not known to me personally (ie not friend or family) - but if want to achieve goals (advertisers, etsy shop, book deal) will need more than 11 of them. Concentrated research into the ways of blogging has shown me that there are several ways to increase blog traffic but extra good one is to have regular giveaways as  you can make the giveaway conditional on joining your blog. I love bribes so here we go.....
All you have to do to win these bars of Coles 'shea butter' soap is join up as a follower and leave a comment. It doesn't need to be a comment about why you need the bars of soap more than the  next person - just any kind of general comment about how good my blog is. And then I will randomly pick a winner based on who is most likely to post on their blog about the win and link me back the most traffic. So........easy peasy - you could be the winner of this pack of two soaps that have a coconut kind of scent to them. Actually they were originally a pack of three but when I gave one to Louie to use in the shower the other night he made such a big fuss about hating the smell of coconut and it being 'unbear-wable' that I had to go and buy some more nuetral smelling soap and take these Shea butter ones out of the bathroom altogether. Actually anyone would have thought I'd thrown a snake into the shower the way he went on. How can you hate the smell of cheap synthetic coconut that badly? Anyway  as I say, now they could be yours. Good luck then and don't forget to tell your blogging friends about the giveaway!!! 

Sunday, 24 June 2012

Chronically Ill Tuesday.


Welcome to the first ever Chronically Ill Tuesday post - a regular space for me to share some of the fun that is chronic illness with my reader/s. Thought I'd begin on a light note with a letter I wrote  to my immunologist after a recent visit.


Dear Dr C.
Trot off today to hospital immunology ward for my regular appointment with you.  Love these visits. Can't tell you how much. Begin as always by getting lost in corridors of hospital, a fun labyrinth layout that has brazenly done away with windows, leaving self to reflect once again on architect of building's character. Wondering for example what force of creativity/mental illness could possibly explain such a layout. Chide self though. Possibly being unfair to architect. Building probably just designed to specifications. Those specifications being "Re-imagine hell then suck all oxygen out of it".
Finally arrive at hell's transit wing - the Immunology/radiology/chemotherapy waiting room. Have to say, enjoy the hour long wait. 
Finally our moment. Have been waiting two months to see if immune system has built antibodies to pneumococcal vaccine challenge.
Discover, unsurprisingly, immune system mounted no challenge. This meets protocol to enter the Intragram trial. But no, you've thought up further diagnostic criterea/circus hoops to put me through! Goodness no, these are not tears of frustration. They are tears of joy at the thought of more tests - who doesn't enjoy a god forsaken process?
"Your condition is not life threatening Mia"
"Correct Dr C. That is why have had it for 25 years now"
"And as we've discussed, Intragram is liquid gold. A very scarce resource. We need to be sure you are a good candidate for the trial".
So understand Dr C. And don't mind me. I'm just enjoying our time consuming, fruitless visits. Plus did I mention how much I like your registrar? I love that he is so young, so fresh out of Med school, seems to have had absolutely no life experience and exhibits zero interpersonal skills. I particularly enjoy sharing my difficult medical history in his compassionless, robotic company and then hearing him repeat it back to you in diluted terms. And by all means when you need to discuss me with him, pretend I'm not in the room the whole time. That's ace. Oh, and if you could possibly arrange it? A painful diagnostic procedure in view of thirty first year med students.
Till next time,
Yours, 
Mia.
P.S Why are the magazines in the waiting room so old? Don't you understand that Nicole Ritchie and Joel Madden  have stopped dating and have two children already??????

Well, that's it for this weeks Chronically Ill Tuesday. I hope you enjoyed it!