Welcome to the first ever Chronically Ill Tuesday post - a regular space for me to share some of the fun that is chronic illness with my reader/s. Thought I'd begin on a light note with a letter I wrote to my immunologist after a recent visit.
Dear Dr C.
Trot off today to hospital immunology ward for my regular appointment with you. Love these visits. Can't tell you how much. Begin as always by getting lost in corridors of hospital, a fun labyrinth layout that has brazenly done away with windows, leaving self to reflect once again on architect of building's character. Wondering for example what force of creativity/mental illness could possibly explain such a layout. Chide self though. Possibly being unfair to architect. Building probably just designed to specifications. Those specifications being "Re-imagine hell then suck all oxygen out of it".
Finally arrive at hell's transit wing - the Immunology/radiology/chemotherapy waiting room. Have to say, enjoy the hour long wait.
Finally our moment. Have been waiting two months to see if immune system has built antibodies to pneumococcal vaccine challenge.
Discover, unsurprisingly, immune system mounted no challenge. This meets protocol to enter the Intragram trial. But no, you've thought up further diagnostic criterea/circus hoops to put me through! Goodness no, these are not tears of frustration. They are tears of joy at the thought of more tests - who doesn't enjoy a god forsaken process?
"Your condition is not life threatening Mia"
"Correct Dr C. That is why have had it for 25 years now"
"And as we've discussed, Intragram is liquid gold. A very scarce resource. We need to be sure you are a good candidate for the trial".
So understand Dr C. And don't mind me. I'm just enjoying our time consuming, fruitless visits. Plus did I mention how much I like your registrar? I love that he is so young, so fresh out of Med school, seems to have had absolutely no life experience and exhibits zero interpersonal skills. I particularly enjoy sharing my difficult medical history in his compassionless, robotic company and then hearing him repeat it back to you in diluted terms. And by all means when you need to discuss me with him, pretend I'm not in the room the whole time. That's ace. Oh, and if you could possibly arrange it? A painful diagnostic procedure in view of thirty first year med students.
Till next time,
Yours,
Mia.
P.S Why are the magazines in the waiting room so old? Don't you understand that Nicole Ritchie and Joel Madden have stopped dating and have two children already??????
Well, that's it for this weeks Chronically Ill Tuesday. I hope you enjoyed it!
So understand Dr C. And don't mind me. I'm just enjoying our time consuming, fruitless visits. Plus did I mention how much I like your registrar? I love that he is so young, so fresh out of Med school, seems to have had absolutely no life experience and exhibits zero interpersonal skills. I particularly enjoy sharing my difficult medical history in his compassionless, robotic company and then hearing him repeat it back to you in diluted terms. And by all means when you need to discuss me with him, pretend I'm not in the room the whole time. That's ace. Oh, and if you could possibly arrange it? A painful diagnostic procedure in view of thirty first year med students.
Till next time,
Yours,
Mia.
P.S Why are the magazines in the waiting room so old? Don't you understand that Nicole Ritchie and Joel Madden have stopped dating and have two children already??????
Well, that's it for this weeks Chronically Ill Tuesday. I hope you enjoyed it!
Ahhh Mia, I am so glad you make the most of each and every opportunity visiting the hospital. You are now a walking, talking teaching machine. Appreciate your popularity, in fact you should have a little card with your blog address to hand out to those poor first years, they could learn a lot from tuning in to your insights.
ReplyDeleteAnd you should view the magazines as hstorical documents, a chance to marvel at the accuracies of gossip mags - gosh they do know what they are talking about, no making up articles there..
xx
Ps - that's crap about the instagram, we can handcuff ourselves to his office until he puts you on the trial if you like. xx
Thanks Karen, yes must appreciate the retro value of old mags. (LOVE your idea about handing my blog address to the med students....)
ReplyDeleteBugger. Sorry to hear that Mia. Sounds like another frustrating visit. Is there another immunologist you can see?
ReplyDeleteHi Mia,
ReplyDeleteWhen you hand over your blog address to the med students don't for get to start it:
Dear arrogant medical student..
and then give them a list of dos and don'ts for when they are first year junior doctors. On the list of don'ts you should suggest that:
'just because you have Dr on your credit card now, you must be nice to nurses, patients, consultants, specialists and senior doctors because if you are not, they will make your life miserable.'
Then on top of the list of Dos:
'Try baking a cake - it might mask your arrogance!'
Hope you survived chronically-ill Tuesday and get to experience well-again Wednesday.
x Tina
Thanks Tina :)
ReplyDeleteI don't know if anyone's ever told you this before but you have an awesome way with words.
ReplyDeleteJust keep blogging......you'll find your rhythym ( I can't for the life of me remember how to spell that)
LOVE it all after reading some of your other posts.
Cheers,
Tania xx
And for goodness sake, don't be afraid to get rid of that word captcha thing on your comment form. I think you do it thru settings......
ReplyDeleteTania xx