Chronically Ill Tuesday.

Welcome to the first ever Chronically Ill Tuesday post - a regular space for me to share some of the fun that is chronic illness with my reader/s. Thought I'd begin on a light note with a letter I wrote  to my immunologist after a recent visit.

Dear Dr C.
Trot off today to hospital immunology ward for my regular appointment with you.  Love these visits. Can't tell you how much. Begin as always by getting lost in corridors of hospital, a fun labyrinth layout that has brazenly done away with windows, leaving self to reflect once again on architect of building's character. Wondering for example what force of creativity/mental illness could possibly explain such a layout. Chide self though. Possibly being unfair to architect. Building probably just designed to specifications. Those specifications being "Re-imagine hell then suck all oxygen out of it".

Finally arrive at hell's transit wing - the Immunology/radiology/chemotherapy waiting room. Have to say, enjoy the hour long wait. 

Finally our moment. Have been waiting two months to see if immune system has built antibodies to pneumococcal vaccine challenge.

Discover, unsurprisingly, immune system mounted no challenge. This meets protocol to enter the Intragram trial. But no, you've thought up further diagnostic criterea/circus hoops to put me through! Goodness no, these are not tears of frustration. They are tears of joy at the thought of more tests - who doesn't enjoy a god forsaken process?

"Your condition is not life threatening Mia"

"Correct Dr C. That is why have had it for 25 years now"

"And as we've discussed, Intragram is liquid gold. A very scarce resource. We need to be sure you are a good candidate for the trial".
So understand Dr C. And don't mind me. I'm just enjoying our time consuming, fruitless visits. Plus did I mention how much I like your registrar? I love that he is so young, so fresh out of Med school, seems to have had absolutely no life experience and exhibits zero interpersonal skills. I particularly enjoy sharing my difficult medical history in his compassionless, robotic company and then hearing him repeat it back to you in diluted terms. And by all means when you need to discuss me with him, pretend I'm not in the room the whole time. That's ace. Oh, and if you could possibly arrange it? A painful diagnostic procedure in view of thirty first year med students.
Till next time,
Yours, 
Mia.
P.S Why are the magazines in the waiting room so old? Don't you understand that Nicole Ritchie and Joel Madden  have stopped dating and have two children already??????

Well, that's it for this weeks Chronically Ill Tuesday. I hope you enjoyed it!

What Kind Of Blog?

Been blogging for a month or so now and while am enjoying it greatly will admit to struggling as to where blog fits in vis a vis bloggingsphere. For example am I a crafting/design blog (see tutorial)? Or am I a leading independent voice in the online blogging fashion community (see photo of shoes)? A go-to site for inspirational parenting maybe (see post)? Or a Home Styling/Pets Enthusiast blog? Then again who is to say I can't be all? One line of interest I'd like to develop further in this blog is chronic illness. I've always had bit of an eye for the zietgest and honestly I really feel chronic illness is on the verge of trending any time now and thus could really position myself as someone with voice of substance. Having said that I wouldn't want to back this blog into a chronic illness niche per se. And in fact don't want to attract too many followers with actual chronic illness. Sick people are kind of depressing don't you think? I wish they would wash their hair more.

Anyway, in anticipation of the trending wave for chronic illness blogs that (in my opinion) is gathering pace right now as I type, I've had this really great regular feature post idea which I'm thinking of calling Chronically Ill Tuesdays. Sort of in manner of Etsy Friday or Thrifting Thursday. Where  every Tuesday I would share some stuff about chronic illness you might enjoy. Be it a helpful tip regarding a prying pharmacist or how you can take the pyjamas/dressing gown combo from day to night and back to day again. Of course the idea is still in it's infant stages. Like might do it on a Monday instead. Then I'd call it Chronically ill Monday.

Reality Bites.

Conditions here at moment (hard to treat infection, stressful study load, crap weather) are not overly conducive to happy mood. Manage to locate small window of joy however in feel good movie genre and thus hatch a brilliant plan involving purchase of 90s X-gen hit Reality Bites off ebay for total bargain price. Successfully execute above plan (though excuse me videokat019, if item description says like new as though just taken out of shrink wrap item should not have scuffy type marks all over jewel case) and suggest to teenage daughter that should watch movie too as will definitely help get to know me better as person since Reality Bites is, like, total documentary of life in early 90s for young persons. Cosy up on lounge for viewing and explain to daughter during opening scene (Winona Ryder character giving valedictorian speech to what looks like crowded Supebowl stadium) that movie is totally realistic and so reminiscent of my 90s youth that I may at times need to wipe away nostalgic tear, but not to be overly troubled by that. Also should think of me as Winona Ryder character - impossibly luminous, talented, loved by all most hottest guys - only with Janeane Garofalo's personality (lets face it, Winona is bit of a wet blanket and really not sure she can act). For those who have not seen movie it goes like this: I - oops,  Winona -  playing the smart and beautiful Lelaina - must decide between nice Yuppie character Michael (played by Ben Stiller) and her sexy/unwashed unemployed slacker housemate Troy (played by Ethan Hawke) who did not bother to graduate College despite a super high IQ which he  then deploys to great effect throughout movie with obscure literary references and  carelessly clever put downs to anyone in his vicinity - though especially to Winona who has rejected his advances, broken his heart and triggered some emotionally crippled defence mechanisms. In a particularly powerful scene where Troy's grunge band "That's My Bike" is playing at hipster grunge cool hangout, Troy takes out his deepest hurt by dedicating a vicious rendition of the Violent Femmes "Add It Up" to Lelaina. For anyone who remembers this era, particularly through the music of "the Femmes", this is a resonant moment. Of course such cruelty only makes Troy even more sexy (as if his greasy hair, commitment phobia and useless education weren't already enough) and they end up together in what is clearly an upbeat and happy ending. I had forgotten this ending and was taken a little by surprise. 

Like watching any movie with daughter, and because am super, over involved, responsible parent,  I wondered what message Reality Bites had sent daughter and what questions I should raise for her to think about - something had not done since Miley Cyrus' last offering with all that upsetting and unnecessary on screen boot scootin'.  For example what if in the months to come, after the honeymoon period wore off, Lelaina finds she doesn't 'understand' Troy's music? Does "That's My bike" just do covers or do they have their own sound and a shot at taking that somewher? What were the chances of Troy overcoming his fear of inadequacy and learning how to effectively communicate his insecurities without lashing out defensively instead? And for her part would Lelaina come to realise that some dresses are just better worn with a bra?

Ultimately hope daughter came away with idea that if someone is mean before you go out with them they will not change just because you are together. Also that some dresses are just better worn with a bra.

Would love it if Hawke and Ryder teamed up for a sequel so we could see what became of their  grunge love story twenty years later. Kind of like when Hawke reunited with Julie Delpy for the sequel of Before Sunrise. Perhaps they are married and Troy has a comb over? Hey, is that a pitch or what.

Anyway must go as have important date with ebay to buy more DVDs. Am kind of on 90's binge now and am looking to purchase Before Sunrise, Before Sunset and the 90s version of Great Expectations.  All Ethan Hawke movies but that is just co incidence.

The Gifted and The Talented (Plus Thank You Twilight Saga)

We are lucky to live where we do. Area has excellent local public primary school with excellent super involved school community. Not only that the school has special program for Gifted and Talented students. Just as well - Thirty Three per cent of students from area are gifted and talented. Which is super way above general population average of Five percent. Something in water supply to area I suspect. Am always encouraging own children to drink up. "Will cleanse out kidneys and purify other systems" tell them "Plus will make you gifted and talented". So far no luck. Though am told completing homework may also help.

Wish school was as interested in Dyslexia as is interested in giftedness and talentedness. Because own daughter is dyslexic and more support from school while she was there would have been awesome. The Dyslexia Association of Australia estimates Ten per cent of students have dyslexia and yet no teacher had any real understanding of it. Without knowing anything too much about Dyslexia myself I first suspected  daughter had it even before she begun school - smart, book loving, curious and quick to learn she would throw a tantrum when asked to look at an alphabet. Those colorful plastic letters which stick to the fridge? Thats $2.95 I'll never get back.

A full diagnosis of dyslexia didn't come until daughter was 10 - from outside the school, hundreds of dollars later in trying to discover why a smart girl was reading at a level lower than the ESL (English as a Second Language) kids, and much frustration, thwarting of confidence etc. A private dyslexia tutor followed (hundreds more dollars), hours on a saturday - her and I in the bedroom doing the attendent homework each week - and just plain determination for the next two years proved instrumental to move beyond this hurdle and make her the A student she is now. Oh, and also her determination to read age innapropriate Twilight Saga.

Actually forget all that - basically Twilight saga cured daughters dyslexia.  Educators take note.

The Sex Life Of Bugs.

One of Louie's favourite things to do is collect bugs and study them. Each month my mother buys him Bugs And Insects - an expensive bug magazine which includes collectable real life insect or bug petrified in block of perspex. Bug magazine is of good quality though can't help but notice editors are obsessed with bug sex. Walk past Louies room at bed time as Murray reads him latest instalment of bug sex life in lurid detail. "Eeeeuw!" think to self.

"Don't be so immature Mia" Murray calls out from bedroom. Oh. Had not realised was thinking aloud again.
This has all inspired Louie to embark on DIY bug breeding program. Last week after school he catches a Cricket then studies reference material to determine cricket is female. He then sets outside again to find  cricket a  life partner to mate with. 

Jackpot. "My, that was quick!" I say, fixing fake smile. Louie introduces crickets to one another then sets about making their tupperware love den comfortable, complete with flower petals (preferred food) and some mood setting grass. Having read they lay their eggs on a dirt nest he constructs one in corner of tupperware love den.

Ambience must be spot on as by next afternoon Louie calls me in. Hurry, he says, Crickets are real life mating, I can't believe it, hurry mum.

Okay, I say. Here I am, yes Louie, that is certainly something. Teenage Daughter gives me  reproachful look suggesting Louie's innocence is inappropriate and is high time I furnish his young mind with the facts of life, presumably so he can adopt requisite amount of embaressment for these matters and not torture us all with bug sex ever, ever again.

The following afternoon Louie invites friend Nicholas over to see chirpy new family pets (actually it is only the male who chirps, a mating strategy) and together they clean out the tupperware love den, discussing the chirpy one.

"He's already mated with his wife, did you know Nic?"

Teenage daughter and I,  at work in next room, exchange looks "Have heard wrong" assure her.

"Nic, did you hear me? He's already mated with his wife"

Teenage daughter give's me I'm telling you look and shakes head at my parenting insufficiences. Honestly? Have no idea where Louie is getting these wife ideas from. His dad and I never bothered to marry. Neither of us chirps.

Louie and Nic decide tupperware love den would be further interesting with more crickets and quick search in backyard proves fruitful with three more crickets introduced to now crowded love den. They apply cling wrap then head out for the trampoline which will occupy the next hour before Nic's dad arrives. This will be invitation for both boys to run and hide forcing Nic's dad and I to yell threats into the neighborhood for the next twenty minutes before they show themselves and Nic can be taken home
.

The following day a grim discovery. One of the crickets has died and the others have pulled it's legs off in disturbing Lord Of Flies type scenario/Survivor re-run. Have reached limit "Louie! Get these Crickets outside and empty them back into the wild!" I shriek.

Whole thing has, understandably, been very upsetting. Will be some time before can tolerate any more pets in the house.

Creative Couples.

Had hoped Murray would come around by now re. Indie Garage band idea. Leave acoustic guitar and instructional CD near brief case and other places might catch eye but to no avail. Speaking frankly his  current situation of stable employment in IT industry stands as frustrating barrier to styling us as cute indie blogger couple with joint passion for thrifting. Have not given up though. Order super inspiring book "Paris Creative Couples" off Amazon as soon as spot this afternoon. Plan to give Murray for up coming birthday in hope he will relate and/or gain inspiration.

Can't wait for book to arrive and have uploaded sneak peeks off web for your perusal. Is inconceivable Murray won't enjoy. After all, who does not love reading books full of successful, attractive, well off couples in their showcase homes?

Images Via.

That Awkward Moment When You Realise The Cowfish Is bigger Than The Shark.

First week of school holidays. Have flu and sleep till Eleven. Get up and thank Louie for letting mummy sleep in so late. Louie suggests reward for himself - game of badminton for us in the rain. Not keen on that but agree instead to drawing undersea tableaux. Assemble large piece of paper, coloured pencils and sticker book of sea creatures for inspiration. Agree Louie will draw shark with mummy assigned mere Cowfish.  Unfortunately forego discussion vis a vis scale and major upset erupts when realise Cowfish is much bigger than shark, not reflecting reality. Explain that maybe Cowfish is closer to us and shark off in background somewhere insignificant. Explanation makes thing worse. Shark meant to be major player, capable of eating Cowfish. Explain again principles of perspective. Older sister laughing. Louie angry at older sister laughing, after all what is so funny? Send older sister to bedroom. Agree to begin new undersea tableaux where shark is major player. Careful to check specifications for new Cowfish. Cowfish gets axe. Further clarification reveals mummy's role now more Design Hack as opposed to co - collaborator, expected to follow instructions from above only, no independent decision making. Design Hack told what to draw (Weedy Sea Dragon) then to finish colouring in of shark as Louie tires and needs to move on to school of fish shark will be eating. More upset. Louie not happy about Design Hack's reinterpretation of shark. Thinks tonal work around eye makes shark look too mean.
Thinking maybe will be long holiday for Design Hack.

Have follower.

Am super thrilled to have blog follower. Fame beckons it would seem. Should really get on with monetising site. Apparently quite profitable for blogs on move such as this. Also must ask teenage daughter how to get Facepage presence for Trophy Wife as since teenager will know all about Facepage and other social networkings, Tweeter and like.  Should strike while iron hot.

Helping hand from Gotye.

Gotye

Last night dream am married to Gotye - popular Australian alternative/crossover singer songwriter. Turns out Gotye is fab husband and super thoughtful. He puts link on own website to this blog and am suddenly deluged with blog traffic from cool types. Wake up with lightbulb moment re having partner who is indie mucician. To this end suggest to Murray over dinner he start up garage band. Honestly? Did not seem overly keen. Cited busy schedule as sole family breadwinner, hands on dad and gruelling training schedule for upcoming marathon as excuses not to. Frankly am disappointed. Had already invested in cheap second hand guitar and beginners How-To booklet with instructional CD included. Argument ensued. Accused Murray of taking no interest in blog. His feeble reply? "I have no idea what you are talking about Mia".

Too upset to write anymore for moment.

?????

Still no followers. Totally inexplicable after yesterdays fab tutorial posted.
Not sure where going wrong.

Tutorial: Roll Ribbon.

Writing blog not as easy as first thought. For example you need to have ideas. Though these ideas need not be original. Discovered this since last post - taking photos of own shoes has been done before!

Been racking brain all week. Then light bulb moment: Mia, maybe your blog could be space to showcase creativity and penchant for DIY.

As SAHMWCI (Stay At Home Mum With Chronic Illness) think it's really important to create nice spaces one feels happy to be in. By nice mean something strongly influenced by Scandanavian designers of Mid Century Modern era peppered with quirky prints of foxes and bears (any woodland creature actually) bought off etsy.

Of course budgets don't always run to this or perhaps you find yourself already heavily invested of the Shabby Chic look of 2002 and a thus a minimalist screenprint of an owl saying "Hi" in a neon yellow speech bubble would produce a nasty styling clash. DON"T PANIC - there are still things you can do that don't cost a lot and at the same time still express my creativity. For example only the other day, as was faking bout of gastro as clever excuse to lock self in bathroom in lieu of "me time", took good look around surroundings and thought "What can a person with no decorating budget, spare time or innate style do to pretty up a space such as this?" That's when came up with "Roll Ribbon" idea. It doesn't take long and you probably already have the materials in your craft stash. Also effective way of saying to other members of household "Let's keep it nice" without actually saying it.

You will need some nice ribbon or string and a bathroom that has a toilet roll holder. Use the ribbon to tie a neat bow around the roll of toilet paper so ther is no toilet paper hanging down loose. Voila!

PS For a totally on trend touch use bakers twine like I have in the bottom picture. Rick rack is also a cool retro touch.

Arty Self Portrait Of Shoes.

Ok, start again. REALLY sorry about last post. Totally uncalled for. Of course you're not boring and ugly - you're back here right? And as said this is going to be a really cool/exciting blog. You can see that already can't you from the visuals? An arty self portrait of my feet. Wearing favourite summer shoes which  sourced third hand off ebay for $22.00 four years ago. It's only just now when look at photo realise they're broken. Which is a bit sad. 

God, where is that delete button??????

Been blogging two whole days now. Will admit to twinge of disappointment at response. Just checked stats and seemingly no activity registered. Heard about  blogger and it's unreliability like that. Knew should have gone with Wordpress. What is needed is not just for you to visit but like to FOLLOW. Officially. LIke in the upper right space that says FOLLOWERS. Kind of rude not to actually. Just to check in on the anonymous sly like that? Is tantamount to trespassing. It's like looking in  the window but not knocking on the door. Or knocking on door then running away. If only there was way to report such problematic behaviours to Blogger. No, really, shame on you. You know what? If that's how it's going to beDON'T FOLLOW. That's right. DON'T. Betting you are boring and ugly and since don't  want boring and ugly followers who will turn off cool, attractive followers best you don't. Plus you are going to feel like total loser when I've got like 1654 followers and a crafting/DIY book deal in works.